And Just Like That: You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get
Season 3, Episode 3: Carrie’s Ultimate Delulu Girl Summer Playlist 2025, a slave to father algorithm, humiliation rituals
A TikTok creator with the handle Flawed Villain has a series of videos that have launched thousands of other women to share their own experiences with a specific, universal phenomenon: dating and having children with a man is a humiliation ritual. The evidence is all around us (I don’t have a single piece to refute it with). It’s a self-explanatory meme, so look it up for yourself, but I’d like you to take in this episode and this recap through the lens of “humiliation ritual” theory. Because, if the next episode’s trailer is any indication, Carrie’s humiliation ritual is only just getting started…
I’ve made an embarrassing mistake. It’s been brought to my attention that “Aidan” is the intended spelling of Carrie’s slender-man boyfriend’s name, not “Aiden,” which is how I have spelled it (37 times) in the last two posts.
However, every time his name has been said in both original SATC and AJLT, it’s been pronounced “AY-DEN” and NOT “AY-DAN”. I’m feeling petty, and it turns out, the data is on my side! “Aiden” is far and away the more common spelling of that name. I googled how many people spell their name aiden vs aidan and found:
”In the 2010s, Aiden rose to the 13th most popular name in the United States as the given name of 129,433 boys, while Aidan ranked 156th as the given name of 25,399 boys.”
Ha!
But, sadly, I’m just a slave to “Father Algorithm.” If it was up to me, I’d continue to spell his name wrong out of spite. The nickname “hemp bracelet” is taken, but I could have given him a more fitting one like the Babadook or David Koresh or Anton Chigurh or Jack Torrance. But, just like my censorship problem last week, I want my posts to be seen more than I care to spite a fictional character. So, for SEO purposes I am going to acquiesce. Just know, that every time you see “AiDAN” in my posts from now on you should pronounce it in your head “AY-DAHN” in allegiance to ME.
I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback in the last month on my book’s playlist. So I made an AJLT playlist: Carrie Bradshaw’s Ultimate Delulu Girl Summer 2025 Playlist, which I suggest you listen to while reading this nonsense.
I’m starting to veer in another direction with Carrie (which will be quite obvious a few songs into this playlist). Honestly… why shouldn’t she have a delusional-girl summer? If Carrie wants to stick her head in the sand and let the true bliss of ignorance take the wheel for a little bit, why not? And why can’t we all? Will that end well for her (or any of us)? Noooo, of course not. But, I predict that her attitude of let go and let god with AiDan is going to end with Carrie single, briefly sad, but knee-deep in d*ck by the end of the summer. (I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.) Let her have a little fun in the meantime with AiDan. As a treat.
If you’d like to live free from fact or logic, untethered from the laws of physics and time like Carrie, then let this playlist be your ultimate summer soundtrack! (I already am!)
Directly from my show notes:
Miranda and Joy have a mostly-boring dinner at a swanky restaurant that heats up when they get to second base at the table in front of everyone. Lesbians are the future.
Anthony’s out peddling his bread on the sidewalk and swoons when his Italian boyfriend’s schl*ng shows up, followed shortly after by Giuseppe.
Carrie helps Harry buy jeans. I’m scared. Harry saying, “should we start a podcast?” is funny because Carrie famously tanked her old podcast because she wouldn’t do an ad read for feminine hygiene products. I bet Harry has no idea she ever had a podcast.
Disappointed at Charlotte not doing coke in the bathroom. All I want is a Lexi Featherstone call back and they won’t let me have it.
Miranda
Miranda finally woke up three episodes in to subtly clock Carrie’s weird-ass situation with AiDan. Methinks this is building up to a blow up (I hope so) where Miranda finally tries to talk sense into her.
Carrie tells Miranda about her plan to give Aidan a key to her house. Miranda says “that’s adorable” because she can’t wait for Carrie to shut up about AiDan so she can talk about Joy.
Adderall
Here’s a fun fact: Apple won’t allow movies or TV shows to depict a “bad guy” using an iPhone. I haven’t googled if that’s true, I heard it on a podcast. It makes me wonder, did Teva pay for their drug (specifically both extended-release and short release) to be mentioned on this show 100 times? Did HBO have to get legal permission to say it on the show in the context of it being traded among moms illegally?
AiDan’s ex-wife calls Carrie out of the blue and asks if she can get some Adderall for Wyatt.
“This is such meth behavior.” —Azealia Banks to both Jan 6 and AiDan’s ex-wife
Your son (who we are led to believe has substance abuse issues) needs Adderall so your best and only move is to call Carrie to get some? What if she gets it off the street? Has no one heard of fentanyl?! If they really needed it, then why wouldn’t AiDan ask Carrie for it himself?
AiDan had such a weird-ass reaction to Carrie presenting the bag of pills to him (fresh out of 48 hours in her bra) that I had to pause and rewind. What was that face he made? I have a couple theories about where this is headed based on his strange reaction:
Theory 1: the pills are actually for AiDan. Wyatt is a troubled kid, but AiDan made up that he has substance abuse issues. It’s actually AiDan who is a drunk (see: m*sturbating in truck) and on pills. But why would the ex-wife be asking for it?
Theory 2: the pills are actually for the ex-wife. She doesn’t want Wyatt or AiDan to know. But this also doesn’t check out because of course Carrie would say something to AiDan and when would she have handed it off to her?
I like that Charlotte has the mom-hookup for adderall. She probably could have used some herself this episode…
Charlotte
Charlotte and Harry insist they are more than just parents and then are immediately publicly humiliated as punishment. I mean, why couldn’t they go out and party? Lilly is like 29 (the actress who plays her is, literally), are the girls not old enough to stay home alone so they can get a night out?
Harry’s jeans are too tight for him to unbutton and he pees his pants. Why does he make Charlotte take his picture right after that? This is dementia behavior and I don’t want it on my screen.
The male gallery client kisses Charlotte in the bathroom after offering her coke. “Wives and moms need love too, babe,” he tries to convince her. He’s not wrong!
“I’m so bored I could die” – Lexi Featherston and also me
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Anthony
Sigh. He wishes Giuseppe would help with his burgeoning Hot Fellas Bakery because he can’t sexually harass the other hot fellas into selling more carbs. This is filler and – pains me to say – I don’t need it.
LTW
“You don’t support other women!” – Ramona Singer and LTW’s husband
LTW works best right now when she’s augmenting a scene with the other characters (e.g. when she brings a gaggle of rich moms to Hot Fellas Bakery). Viewers would rather get to know her that way than dragging us through forced scenes with an editor we don’t really know well either. She can have her own storyline after it’s earned, but until then miss me with all of it.
Seema
The crypt keeper is back! And he’s 90. Seema acts shocked at this as though he doesn’t look a thousand-and-one. He says a gay 90 is a straight 70. Sir, please.
He’s going to retire (die?) and sell his business shares to Ryan Serhant, Bravo-lebrity from Million Dollar Listing New York. I don’t buy this story line. As the savvy business woman we’ve been told she is, she would have had contractual boundaries in writing stating what the succession plan was. She wouldn’t have left that up to a last minute change of heart.
Seema also has a moment with Adam the landscaper when she picks Carrie up for the trip to Virginia. He says in her general direction: “I’ve never met a kitty I couldn’t bend to my will.” EXCUSE ME, sir, this is a Chili’s! But more of this, please.
The Virginia Trip/Trap
The episode opens with the most Alex and Simon-ass background music as Carrie sets up to talk to her editor/publisher/publicist (Samantha erasure) who offers her speaking opportunities at Google, SXSW, and… Virginia.
Of course, Carrie ignores major career opportunities to do some backwoods speaking engagement in a town proximate to her no-contact boyfriend. I can’t believe I’m referencing the “cool girl” monologue twice in a month, but here we are. Carrie is too old for any of this.
When they are having lunch at Hot Fellas, Seema asks Carrie why she won’t stay with Aidan if she’s going all the way down there? Carrie says “I don’t want to make him feel like I’m invading his space” – aka I don’t want him to know that I have needs and I would never put my own comfort above his.
Carrie, honey, we’ve all tried to be “cool girl” at some point. This is a lesson one usually learns by 30 and certainly Carrie would have learned it after about a hundred examples of it going poorly with Big. It darks me out that the female urge to silence your own needs doesn’t dissipate in the brain with the onset of menopause.
Anyway, Seema travels to Virginia with Carrie since she’s taking an extended break at work. At dinner after they arrive, Seema says to Carrie “AiDan is trying really hard to make this work.” WHAT? I refuse to believe that her friends think this way.
Later, Carrie is in her hotel room on the phone with AiDan. He is 20 minutes away and they’re still on the phone, in the phone, over 5G waves, but never in person. She’s organized a whole trip around only a lunch with him. This is pick-me behavior and I don’t like it on her.
Seema brings KFC to Carrie’s room and they eat chicken and drink on Carrie’s bed. Ah, girlhood! Seema talks about how she should have her name on the wall at work. The woman who won’t ask her boyfriend to drive 20 minutes to see her says, “You don’t ask, you don’t get.”
Then Carrie admits she had assumed AiDan would have asked her to stay with him and doesn’t know why he didn’t.
Seema asks, “Do you think you were so busy being easy and breezy that it didn’t seem like you wanted to?”
Cool girls don’t ask. And cool girls don’t get.
It’s not just about staying the night. Carrie could have done the adult thing. She could have communicated what she wanted. She didn’t have to fabricate a business purpose to be there. She could have said, hey, I want to SEE you. I am coming to Virginia for the sole purpose of seeing you and I want to stay with you.
But instead she said I’ll be near you, I am not going to impose at all, in fact we will hardly see each other. It’s not AiDan’s fault that he can’t read her mind. But she only had to stoop to this level because of the box he put their relationship in in the first place. His version did not include regular visitations or even consistent contact. So of course Carrie had to find a loop hole and then just hope he would show her a tiny bit of love by wanting her around.
The next morning Carrie’s got cornbread-induced heartburn and finds out her drivers license has been expired for 8 years when she tries to rent a car (gotta hand it to them, this is classic SATC). Carrie asks rhetorically, “who goes out of state for a casual lunch?” She is flustered because her nervous system is processing the reality of it all in real-time. It’s broadly dawning on her, how did I get here? Is this really the type of relationship I’m in?
I love that Seema – unused to being behind the wheel instead of smoking in the back – speeds, tries to Facetime while driving, and then runs over parking-lot spikes and shreds the rental car tires.
So AiDan shows up with a truly tragic dad joke that Carrie should have dumped him for on the spot (goober is a hillbilly uber). Am I the only one who screamed at my screen for Seema and Carrie to not go anywhere that j*zz-covered truck?!
AiDan finally asks Carrie to stay over. But this isn’t the romantic fantasy Carrie had in mind: this is a trap.
Mounting evidence for AiDan revenge plot theory:
Even though AiDan knew Carrie would be in town and KNEW he planned to ask her to stay with him last minute, he supposedly “didn’t get the chance” to tell his kids that she was coming. He doesn’t want to spring her on them.
He waited until he already had her on the grounds of his murder farm (I’m guessing) to tell her that she will be staying in the guest house and not really with him. He’s doing exactly what he’s doing on a macro scale, but on his property. Normally, he has her confined to her Gramercy house, waiting around for 5 years to end. But if she has to be near him, he’s going to confine her to a space physically away from him again.
Carrie’s luggage was left in the towed-away rental car. So she doesn’t have clothes, makeup wipes, hair products, a tooth brush, ANYTHING. He’s putting her in a situation where she’ll be in day-old panties, unkempt, hair a mess, no makeup, just in time to spend a day with him and his troubled son Wyatt on the farm. What could go wrong!
I have another tangent to revenge plot theory that no one’s going to like, but you can’t tell me this isn’t plausible: I think AiDan and the ex-wife will get back together. Hear me out!
I don’t know where the adderall thing is going, truly. But I think AiDan and the ex-wife will end up getting closer and closer as they attempt to co-parent future-school-shooter Wyatt. Ever since he showed up in AJLT, AiDan’s been hinting at an insurmountable amount of Carrie-PTSD. He likes the idea of “having her”, but he’s so afraid to get hurt by her again that he has to keep her in a figurative and literal box, in a cage like a bird. So he will eventually run back to the arms of the “safe” option after they rekindle and want to make it work for their kids.
I hate this.
A very kind TikTok user commented on my last post that they have to stop watching this show because it’s so bad. I know a lot of people who have stopped. I commented back to her “I 100% agree and unfortunately I am going to keep watching for better or worse (laughing crying emoji). I’m still mad about it tho lol” she liked that comment and wrote “happy Pride!”
It’s ironic because AJLT is actually a hate crime in a way that I haven’t fully pieced together yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.
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Krisin Davis said publicly this week that she wishes Trey would come back. ME TOO. But Kyle MacLachlan is too good for AJLT, his social media is a thing to behold.
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(Carrie when the Aiden thing eventually ends)